Brian & Christine Sutherland

Updates

• Update 3

  EXCITING NEWS!!!

  September 21, 2022
  Incredible news! We now have a matching donor! Brian’s company, Webbula, has generously offered to match donations up to $10,000. We are grateful beyond words! In other news, we are now getting really close to being approved as adoptive parents! We've checked all the boxes on the two page application checklist, and we have attended the two day Training Seminar in Dallas. (Shout out to Nana & Pops for watching John Paul for us!) We’ve completed the first part of the two part Home Study, which was an in-person interview in their Dallas office. AND we have the actual home visit... Read morepart of our Home Study scheduled for October 12th! Our social worker will come to our house to check to make sure it is safe for a child. You would think that we would be ready for that, as we have a small child, but there are things that we did not already have in place (lock boxes for all medications, liquor up high and locked up, 5lb fire extinguishers on both floors, written out fire evacuation plan, etc). Plus, there's just a lot of re-organization of things that we are working on in preparation for this! Once the home visit is completed (and we pass!), then we wait for the report to be written up, which could take up to a month. We're hopeful that all this can happen and we can be approved by early November! In the meantime, we are working on completing the last of the online training sessions that are required and finishing up the pre-home study questionnaire. It is pretty all-encompassing. It includes questions about our childhood/how we were raised/disciplined, parents' relationships, previous relationships, our dating relationship, our marriage, views on parenting/discipline, information about our neighborhood, etc. Basically, they just want to REALLY get to know everything about us! So many hoops to jump through, but we're jumping away!

• Update 2

  What (or really Who) Led Us Here

  August 11, 2022
  Great news! We found out that the 16 hour training seminar was rescheduled for next week. So, we'll be heading up to Dallas for that, and we'll be one step closer to being able to schedule our home study! I mentioned in my last update that I would write again to share about what has led Brian and I down this path. Bear with me though...I tend to be wordy! We actually discussed adoption as a possibility while we were dating. Since we were getting married later in life, we did not know whether we'd be able to get pregnant... Read moreat all. Naturally, while we wanted to be able to have our own biological children, we were both open to the idea of adoption as a way to grow our family. We both had (and still have) a strong desire to have many children - four or five was what we were feeling prior to marriage - even though we knew that probably wouldn't be possible biologically. Given our ages, and without God surprising us with multiples, it just didn't seem likely. It took us almost a year to get pregnant with John Paul. About 6 months into that time, we attended an orientation session for foster-to-adopt programs in Austin. However, after that orientation, we both felt a "not now" response from God when we prayed about it. A few months later, we were overjoyed to find out that we were pregnant with John Paul! After a pretty traumatic labor/birth with him, my OB/GYN recommended that we wait 12 months, but AT LEAST 9 months, before trying to get pregnant again. Knowing that my biological clock was ticking, we were trying again 9 months later, and we were overjoyed to get pregnant that first month we tried! However, that joy turned to sorrow when we learned that our son, Thomas Basil, did not have a heartbeat at our first ultrasound in January 2021. Genetic testing found a random genetic abnormality, not compatible with life. We immediately began trying again, but have been unsuccessful in getting pregnant again in the last year and a half. (In case you are wondering, I do go to a Catholic, NaPro-trained OB/GYN -and we have pursued all Church-approved avenues, including surgery, meds/hormones, injections, etc.) While there does still exist the possibility that I could get pregnant again, the reality is that I am 42 this year and have sub-optimal fertility. Brian and I will never stop trying to get pregnant until it is no longer possible. However, we have come to accept that God may be saying "no" to that heart-felt prayer of ours. That was not, by any means, an easy reality to accept. At the same, we know that we are abundantly blessed to have John Paul, as some couples are never able to give birth to biological children. We also know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God knows what is best for us - and what will lead us to heaven! Jesus, we trust in You! So, as we began to accept the possibility that we may not be able to get pregnant again, we began to ask God what He desires for us. The idea of adoption as a way to grow our family came up once again. We began our discernment of pursuing adoption in October of 2021 by talking with multiple couples that we know who have walked this path before us, both couples who adopted infants through private domestic infant adoption and couples who adopted children through the foster care system. We wanted to hear their stories and learn from them. We also hoped that it would help us discern whether to pursue private infant adoption vs foster-to-adopt. After talking to seven or eight families and spending time in prayer, it became clear to us that private infant adoption would be the better option for our family, particularly taking John Paul into account. It is recommended that you adopt a child that is younger than your youngest, and he is only 2. Children that are ready to be adopted in the foster care system tend to be older. And while you can foster an infant, there are no guarantees that the infant would ultimately remain with your family. We feel that the uncertainty there would be too difficult for us, and we would hate to have any of us - but especially John Paul - fall in love with a child that could then be removed from our home to be returned to their biological family after months/years. I think we would have given it more serious consideration if we didn't already have John Paul. The biggest obstacle that I (Christine) had to get over was the cost, as we didn't/don't have ~$35,000 to cover the private infant adoption expenses. However, with more prayer, I came to realize that perhaps the Lord is asking me to trust Him more deeply in this area; to trust that if He is calling us to this, He will provide for us. Research into different adoption agencies led us to the Infant Adoption Program at Catholic Charities of Dallas. Though in many ways it would be easier to use an agency in the Austin area, we really like the way that Catholic Charities runs their program and the way they take care of the women that are referred to them. (I also mentioned some of these things in our initial post.) After missing two orientation sessions at the beginning of 2022 due to a childcare issue and a cancellation due to weather, we were finally able to attend an orientation session with Catholic Charities in May. In contrast to the orientation session that we had attended for the foster-to-adopt program in Austin earlier in our marriage, we both left this orientation session feeling at peace about moving forward with their program. After completing a Pre-Adoption Counseling session with them (to make sure there were no major obstacles for us to continue in their program), we were given the green light to begin our application whenever we were ready. We took another week to pray about it and specifically spent a day of prayer at the Marian Shrine in Austin (where we got engaged). We both continued to feel that this is what God is asking of us in relation to growing our family. Now, some of you may be wondering...what happens if y'all do end up getting pregnant? Good question! We would obviously be thrilled to be pregnant, but at the same time, we both feel that we would continue with the adoption process even with another biological child on the way. We may delay the process a bit, but we plan on continuing down this path. The way we see it is that IF we are blessed to get pregnant again, given my age, it will likely be the last time. We both desire children -and desire more than two, if that be God's will! This is part of the reason that we decided to begin the process now, instead of waiting until we were absolutely sure that we could not get pregnant. Another reason is that most adoption programs have upper age limits - and Brian's age is getting close to some of those limits. However, as long as we begin the process with Catholic Charities of Dallas before he reaches the age limit, we are able to continue the process with them, even if he passes the age limit before a child gets placed with our family. So, that's our story up until now...we are trusting that God has beautiful (though maybe difficult, at times) plans for our family! Thank you for journeying with us! Please reach out and let me know if you have other questions that I haven't answered!

• Update 1

  Boxes checked!

  July 31, 2022
  First of all, we recently were humbled to receive an extremely generous donation directly (not through this site). So, we have lowered the goal we set for this site to reflect that gift. Also, this week, we completed our required CPR/First Aid class (which had been rescheduled twice - once by the Red Cross and once because of my emergency appendectomy!) We are checking the boxes one by one! As part of the application, we were given a 2 page list of things that we need to complete/send in/accomplish in order to officially complete the application process. This includes things... Read morelike fingerprinting/background check, physicals with TB testing for all 3 of us, CPR/First Aid, copies of birth certification/marriage certificate/social security cards, copies of the last 2 years of taxes, work/income verification, reference letters from our pastor and 3 other people, a floor plan of our house with dimension, photos of the family/house/yard/play areas/pets, lots of paperwork to sign, etc. We are three check boxes away from having it completed! Brian and I are hoping to have the final boxes checked on our application list by the end of this month. The next steps are that we have to attend a 16hr state-mandated training seminar and then have our home study completed. We had actually planned to attend the training seminar in Dallas in mid-July, but it was cancelled due to some of the staff members at Catholic Charities having COVID. So, we're currently waiting to hear when that will be rescheduled. But...all in God's timing! We'll try to post another update soon with a little bit more of our story of how God led us to walk down this path!
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